Mr. Potato Head

When I heard Iran had become a nuclear state, I laughed so hard I almost peed in my panties.




Let's forget for a moment that Iran is the Pomeranian of our earth: always wanting to be bigger but never accepting they will always be small and weak. Has anyone stopped to look at Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's record when it comes to telling his people the truth?



Good heavens, he's almost as bad as Barack Obama. I mean about the lying. Mahmoud still takes the prize when it comes to genocide and anti-semiticism.



In all actuality, any living entity with half a brain knows Ahm-in-the-mood-for-jihad's pants are constantly aflame from the enormous lies he tells on a daily basis. Even our president, Mr. Barack-and-roll-over thinks Mahmoud is full of hot air.



I-want-my-momma Ahmadinejad is such a tiny little guy. It's hard to wonder how anyone can take him seriously. He is an exact replica, and I'm including size in this analogy, of Mr. Potato Head. All a person would need to do is take a black Sharpie and squiggle on a little beard.



It's amazing to think that such evil resides within such a little potato man. I can't resist the urge to review the president of Iran-away-from-the-U.S. Yes, I do believe he needs the next two or three years having to store his extra potato head parts where a regular Mr. Potato Head stores his parts.



Has he ever stopped to think that by boasting a nuclear weapon, he's only putting his country in danger? If Israel feels threatened by nuclear force, does anyone doubt they would utilize a preemptive strike?



Now, I'm not a member of the United Nations, because my sophomore college education is too advanced for that position. However, I fail to see how sanctions have stopped anyone from defending themselves.



The blow-hards over at the UN can tell Israel not to strike as much as they want, but if the danger were actually there, who could blame Netanyahu for wanting to take out the threat?



By pretending he's got the same toys all the important kids have, Mahmoud Ahm-a-nut-job could theoretically be putting his own people in danger. What kind of nation would vote in a guy like that as their president?



I kid, of course. We all know there is nothing legit about the presidency of Mr. Potato Head and his bucket of lies.



The saddest news of all is the number of innocent people who are dying right now because they just want honesty in their government. My hat goes off to the protesters in Iran. Even under the threat of being executed, they still speak out against the crazy bearded munchkin.



It's a bit of a shame that Iran isn't made up of only evil people. The solution would be so much easier: Nuke the country and let the rest of the world breathe a sigh of relief. But since Iran is probably made up of more good people than evil, the solution is ridiculously complicated.



Do we as Americans just sit by and watch what happens? Is it our duty to try and help the people of Iran? Is it our duty to stop any nuclear programs that may (or may not) be underway? Do we have the obligation to send troops in if needs be?



Well, I don't have the answer. Dang, there goes my future job as a military strategist.



All I know is there is a little man with facial hair who's rise to power was incredibly shady. The state of his country is highly questionable because everything that comes out of the region is propaganda. And all he wants to do is get rid of all the Jews. Sound familiar?



If it were up to me, I'd take our little potato and make some freedom fries out of him. The only question that remains is: How do we do it?