Be Aware!

It's understandable that even the best of us can some times be unaware of our surroundings, but there are those who are perpetually oblivious to everything but themselves. My interest in this subject began long ago when someone said to me: "Either look where you're going or go where you're looking." To make a long story short, this was a random person I ran into while I was walking and texting. Ever since that fateful day, I've paid more attention to other people and what those people are paying attention to. My research has generated some entertaining and sometimes scary results. I was recently at the Three Amigos Market on Bluff Street. Yes, I needed a piñata, but that's not the point. I was attempting to pull into the parking lot but was delayed, as were two other cars that were behind me, because two women were chatting in the lot entrance, effectively blocking any incoming vehicles. One woman had her back turned to the line of folks waiting patiently for the conversation to end, and I'll give this woman the benefit of the doubt. I'll just assume she wasn't aware that traffic was piling up because of her need to converse in the middle of a parking lot, but her friend most definitely saw the line of automobiles waiting to get into the Three Amigos parking lot. I do enjoy a good chat, and I will admit that once a good conversation gets going it is a tad bit annoying when something rudely interrupts it, but seriously, can the heart-to-heart be put on hold for about 20 seconds, just long enough to walk out of the road? Apparently not, considering I, along with the rest of the motorists, sat idling in our cars, contributing to the carbon footprint of St. George. If I weren't so concerned with being sent to jail, I might have just nudged these two ladies with my bumper to make my point. My dear ladies, it's seven out of 10 days of conversation between the two of you, all while standing in the middle of I-15. Are people unaware or do they just not care? On the topic of roadway antics, I have to recant my adventures at the movie theater this weekend. It was a Friday night, so the theater was quite busy, and the line for tickets was daunting to say the least. Who knows why or how the line was formed in the manner it was, but when I arrived I was shocked. The people waiting to purchase their tickets were lined up off the sidewalk and into the parking lot. Now had there been no need for road access in front of the theater, this line formation probably would have sufficed. But since there was a line of cars waiting for the growing line to shrink, one would assume that someone would take the initiative to steer the line in another direction. Yet people continued to line up further and further into the parking lot. When I joined the line I reluctantly suggested to the people around me that we bend the procession of patrons to allow the cars to get by. It took some coaxing but eventually I was able to move the sheep, I mean the people, over to the sidewalk. I want so badly to review the people who saw no other option but to stand in the road so they could see "Avatar," but sadly that review would be something to the effect of living their own lives for 10 days. Alas, their very existence is punishment enough. Obliviousness isn't simply constrained to roadways, mind you. I'm sure you're all aware of the completely clueless people wandering around us no matter where we are. Picture this: lunch time in the Red Rock Café. There I am, plate in hand, waiting for my turn at the salad bar. Actually, waiting for my turn may not be the suitable description. I was waiting for a girl to step away from the salad bar so I could dish myself up some leafy greens. I don't even know why she was standing there. She was simply stationary like some sort of vegetable-blocking statue. Finally, after half a minute or so, I took some initiative and just reached behind her while simultaneously saying "excuse me." The look I received was classic. It was as if I had just insulted her mother, grandmother, child and her religion while concurrently telling her she needs a nose job and breast augmentation. Her dagger-eyes said, "How dare you attempt to get lunch? Can't you see I'm standing here?!" Whoever you are, my dear little freshman, I have a review for you: one straight month in a forest full of bunnies and flowers. You'll have seven dwarves to wait on you hand and foot, and everything you touch will turn to chocolate. Wherever you walk there shall grow baby unicorn bushes in your wake. Dragonflies made of candy and giggles will forever encircle your head, and rainbow birds will fly above you, eternally pooping skittles for your enjoyment. Think of it as charm school, The Skewed Review way. When you return, you'll be a much happier person, willing to make that horrible sacrifice of allowing a lowly commoner like myself a chance to abate my hunger and get some salad. Please look both ways whenever you are doing anything, don't put yourself in danger because you absolutely have to finish that conversation, and for Heaven's sake, allow others to get their salads at the salad bar.