Dear Gaga

Dear Lady Gaga, I know you are an avid reader of The Dixie Sun, so I would like to review you and your effects on society in this humble open letter.




Please feel free to reply!



Gaga, you have done the world both a huge favor and a considerable disservice.



You have given children of all ages the strength to stand up and embrace what makes them unique. You've inspired thousands if not millions of fans to throw off the bonds of conformity and laugh in the face of subsequent social rejection.



I give this achievement five golden rhinestone lobster platform shoes and a huge Minnie Mouse bow completely made of platinum blonde hair. Well done, Gaga. Well done.



But in becoming the fabulous Monster you are, you've also encouraged a generation of young music and fashion enthusiasts to not only draw inspiration from your achievements but to also imitate many of your extra-curricular activities.



According to "Lady Gaga On Sex, Fame, Drugs, and Her Fans," by Lisa Robinson published in the September 2010 issue of Vanity Fair you said: "I won't lie; it's occasional. And when I say occasional, I mean maybe a couple of times a year."



You were speaking of your cocaine habit, of course. But even a couple of times a year may be too much.



Now, I applaud your ability to be so candid about such an unpleasant topic, but I fear you may be going the way of such stars as Judy Garland, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Elvis Presley.



Your latest single, "Born This Way," was a lyrical dream to me. You are such a brilliant poet and an amazing pianist. While some may disagree, I believe your latest song is a step in the right direction. It's a throwback to the Madonna-era revolution, and I love it.



I believe there are many of your minions who feel the same as I do. Unfortunately I fear many of them will blindly follow in your footsteps and go to great lengths to emulate you–drugs and all.



I have to give this failure to see how you may be negatively affecting your fans four ruby slippers of sadness and a golden jump suit of despair. Let them be a constant reminder to you that fantastical fabulousities like Dorothy and The King can have a tragic end.



Although you were just in grade school when Kurt Cobain committed suicide, I'm sure you recall the repercussion of his actions. MTV's Kurt Loder immediately took to the airwaves and begged viewers not to pursue similar procedures.



His death rocked the world, and who knows how many young people took their own lives in grief.



His rampant drug use was only revealed after the fact. No one outside his inner circle really knew his heroine addiction was out of control, and no one could foresee his depression would lead to his demise.



Will this be your story?



If you haven't already figured it out, I consider myself a Little Monster. But as my little monster paws type out this close-to-home Skewed Review, I am saddened to think my idol may one day die.



I panic when I think of all the wonderful music and shocking fashions that would die with you. And I tremble to think of all the Little Monsters who would follow you–even into death.



I am proud to say you inspire me to be ferocious and magnificent. You make me think the word "action" every time I step outside my door. Because of you, I am not afraid to express on the outside who I am on the inside.



You are the reason I feel alive and glittery. I feel as though the world is my runway, and I am walking it in 12-inch-high McQueen heels. And because of you, I'm not afraid to fall. I'll just get back up, wrap my ankle if needed, and continue to strut my stuff.



So I'm begging, no, pleading–please let us in turn be your muse. Don't let substance be your insight to creation. Think of the little ones when you speak. Just know there are millions who look to you every time you open your mouth.



No, I'm not gushing. I'm just telling it as I see it. As things are going, I predict another hit album from the Haus of Gaga, and then I foresee a catastrophic conclusion to your vocation.



I guess it's the smart thing to quit at the pinnacle of popularity, right? Marilyn Monroe will forever be frozen in time as an ageless beauty because she died at the height of her career. But I would rather see you fade with age than have the world lose you.



In this sense, I hope you make a bad career choice and live rather than join the annals of wonderful entertainers who destroyed themselves through bad decisions and substance abuse.