ACLU: Be Consistent!

I had an epiphany after I watched the IRS building burn on television, and it involves the ACLU and therefore is giving me an ulcer.




The news has widely spread about the ticked-off pilot whose taxes apparently sent him over the edge. This Texas man ended up flying his single-jet engine plane into the local IRS building.



I would like to think as this man was flying toward the building, he shouted something like, "How's this for a refund?!"



I've got to give a quick two-part review to this vengeful tax evader. For being proactive against the IRS, I have to recommend he get 10 massages in heaven from Farrah Fawcett. However, since this plucky pilot decided not only take his own life, but attempt to take the lives of hundreds of other people, I've got to give him the rest of eternity having only Anna Nicole Smith to talk to. Sorry, bud.



So now that we've effectively had an old white dude commit an act of terrorism, the ACLU pretty much has their work cut out for them.



We're all aware of the so-called racial profiling that the human rights activists are so concerned about. For instance, I keep hearing on talk radio and on FOX (I know, it's evil) about how the good folks at the airports can't profile.



Any man, woman or child who's anything but Middle Eastern gets a serious shakedown at airport security. But if a guy wearing a turban goes through the metal detector, all the security agents have to look the other way, or heaven forbid, they'd be racially profiling.



Well, thanks to the Caucasian guy's kamikaze feat, there's good news for all you white people out there. Next time you're boarding an airplane and some security personnel walks up to you and asks to look in your bag, you can shout, "racial profiling!"



So now we've had Middle Eastern guys attack us with planes, a black guy with a bomb in his diaper, and a pasty white man with tax issues fly his plane into a building. So the ACLU should really be defending anyone who is black or white.



This is all a complete farce. I swear the world we live in today is nothing short of a circus.



We have people flying planes into buildings. There are guys sewing explosives into their undies. There's human rights activists calling for the closing of Guantanamo Bay so the terrorists can come over to the U.S. Oh, and the ACLU people making all of it worse by defending the bad guys.



Dang, can someone bring me a Hershey bar laced with Ambien and Xanax please?



The ACLU has done so much good for black, white, Hispanic, Asian and gay people all across this country. Why do they need to shift gears and start calling for the rights of the evil-hearted bastards who put the black, white, Hispanic, Asian and gay people in danger? This includes bad guys at home and held in captivity in sunny Cuba.



Add some OxyContin to that chocolate as well, please.



For defending every good-hearted American who's not getting the rights they deserve, the ACLU attorneys need to get a dozen roses, a kiss on each cheek, and 10 free downloads from iTunes.



But for every American-hating ding-dong who turns a plane into a weapon they say deserve equal rights, the ACLU lawyers should have to drive up and down each side of the Grand Canyon in a defective Toyota Prius.



I once wondered why more people didn't get up in arms about the inconsistency of the peeps over at the ACLU, but then it came to me: There are so many problematic issues in the world today that it's impossible for any one person to focus on every predicament. Otherwise, I think more people would take notice and voice their concerns.



OK, if that chocolate bar could be melted down and stirred into a cup of vodka, that would be just super.



It really is hard not to spread yourself thin on all the issues that present themselves in today's world. The ACLU is just one of my many, many concerns.