DSC's Week of Welcome gets the Review

Take the opportunity while it lasts because this won’t be a normal week on campus.

I’m talking about W.O.W., or Week of Welcome if you’re not an acronym type of person. If you’re a returning student you’ll often hear this referred to as the ever-redundant W.O.W. Week. You’ll know if I’m in the crowd because you’ll hear me yelling down the people who call it that.

But who am I to tell students in a higher education atmosphere the correct way to use acronyms in a sentence? So I’ll digress.

Instead I’d like to focus on what is sure to be the busiest week in terms of on-campus extra-curricular activities. Some are traditional and some are brand new. Some sound like a lot of fun, and others seem like they might just work for one year only.

Let’s run through the list of activities, and I’ll give them each a rating depending on my own experiences and whether or not the activity seems like it would be worth my time and therefore worth your time.

Monday’s W.O.W. Carnival

It’s no secret that I’ve never been a fan of carnival type atmospheres. I especially never liked carnivals on a college campus. It always seemed like such an elementary school way to try and get college students to have fun. Why not just throw a kegger? I’ll digress again.

I feel like I’m not alone in the assumption that carnivals and bouncy castles aren’t really a grown-up way of having fun, but when it comes to the carnival turnout it looks as though I’m alone. Every year the carnival gets a pretty good turnout, and from what I’ve heard the students have a genuinely good time.

Where else can you get your hamburgers and chips and slide down a huge inflatable slide in one sitting?

I’ll give the WOW Carnival two and a half out of five bouncy castles and a promise that I just might show up to it this year (as long as nothing more important comes along in the meantime).

Tuesday’s Q & A with Wayne Newton

I so wish this was a traditional Dixie State College Week of Welcome activity. But as far as I know, this will be the first time Mr. Las Vegas has graced the stage at DSC for questions and answers with our student body.

Do college students appreciate a man like Newton? I certainly think they should. After all, he sings the song that is constantly stuck in my brain: “Danke Schoen.”

I hope every student who wants to gets a chance to go to this event. I’m giving our student government nine out of 10 Las Vegas dancers (gender of choice, of course) for their success in bringing Newton to campus. I hope the actual event goes as well as I hope it will.

Wednesday’s and Thursday’s Club Rush

You can’t avoid Club Rush. If you have any classes between the institute building and the Browning Library, then chances are you’ll be strutting your stuff down “the diagonal.” Every semester the clubs and organizations on campus gather on this sidewalk that cuts across the northern encampment mall, and offer students a chance to find out more about clubs and hopefully sign up for them.

While the socially anxious person may find Club Rush a bit daunting, it’s still a good idea to brave the diagonal at least once. You never know what club might be perfect just for you.

Club Rush gets five out of five bowls of candy (something you’ll see a lot) for giving students the opportunity to better themselves through campus activity. But those who actually have to stand outside in the 110-degree weather will tell you it’s no picnic.

Well, maybe a picnic in the desert, I guess. But those students who laugh in the face of sunburns get an additional bowl of candy for their efforts.

Wednesday’s Minute to Win It

The Minute to Win It is new as far as I know. I’ll admit I haven’t been that active in years past when it comes to the Week of Welcome. So I’m not always the first in line to these events. The Minute to Win It sounds like it could be fun, but only if it’s executed correctly.

As long as enough students are involved, then maybe this attempt at bringing a game show to life on campus might be successful.

I’ll give the thought of this activity two out of three Wayne Newtons. Sorry, I keep thinking about him and I just get off track. I meant to say two out of three Fig Newtons. Have I digressed lately?

Thursday’s Campus Service Project.

Please remember this is a Skewed Review, and therefore it’s an opinion piece. That being said, I have to give the Campus Service Project a glare and a slap for sounding angelic, but in fact being a bit deceptive.

If it were up to me I’d call it the “Campus Free Labor Project” instead. Historically the Campus Service Projects have all been enlistments of students to work on campus beautification.

There’s nothing wrong with that of course, but to say “service” makes it sound like students are feeding the poor some soup, or helping the homeless with job applications, or aiding old folks who are crossing the streets.

But instead we’re put to work building gazebos and what-not. Who knows? I may be wrong. When we get to the Pearly Gates we might just be asked, “What did you do for your college?”

In that case I’d have to suit up for an eternity of what I can only assume is St. George Club Rush weather.

Friday’s First Chance Dance

The name says it all. This will be the first chance for you to dance. The past couple of years have featured a foam dance at the North Instructional Building. This is the perfect place to get your groove on, especially if you’re out of soap.

This is also my favorite place to play shark. Nothing’s more fun than going under the suds and grabbing unsuspecting victims. I’m not sure if that’s the plan this year, but I’m giving the First Chance Dance two out of three hours of my time. It’s a great place to meet new friends, and it’s a good excuse to show others how wacky you really are.

That way there’ll be no expectations in the year to come.

Saturday’s President’s 5K Run

Do you know what sounds really fun? Running a 5K in Club Rush weather!

I’m sorry, but you won’t see me at the race. I’ve never attended this event, and I don’t think I ever will. Don’t get me wrong, it sounds like a good, sweaty time, but my Saturdays are already booked for the next four semesters.

Those of you who attend the run get my respect.

Now that’s a rating that’s few and far between.

Let us know what you thought of the Week of Welcome, and if any of my reviews were on the nose or completely off the rails. Follow The Skewed Review on Twitter @SkewedReview and “like” it on Facebook at Facebook.com/theskewedreview to get in on the conversation.